On Tuesday I drove to Owensboro to attend a Memorial Service that is held at the beginning of the Kentucky Bar Convention each year to honor the attorneys who have passed away over the past year. 133 attorneys were on that list and I knew quite a few of them. As I made the drive I thought that the last event I would ever want to have to attend would be a Memorial Service honoring my child.
The service was held at St. Stephens Cathedral, which was a beautiful location. I arrived for the reception that was held in the basement prior to the service. What occurred over the next 90 minutes stunned and amazed me and re-enforced my desire to follow this mission I have set myself on. After speaking with a few longtime acquaintances, a young man spoke to me saying that he recognized me from Frankfort. As we sat and talked he told me that his father was one of the attorneys being honored. Without knowing my circumstances he opened up to me about his father’s depression. His father worked in state government and retired last summer. After retirement his father’s depression increased and despite encouragement from his family he would not seek treatment. In November his son attempted to reach him by phone but got no response. He went to his father’s home and found that he had taken his life. I told him about Luke and let him know how much I appreciated him sharing his story.
A few minutes later I spoke to an attorney who I knew from Frankfort. We were discussing my reason for being in the service when she told me that she had been practicing in western Kentucky with her husband and that he had taken his own life. With both of these people it was if an instant bond is formed. And in the case of this young lady, she expressed a commitment to become involved and help others. I shall do my best to hold her to that and hope that she will share more with us in future posts.
Prior to the death of my brother Bill, I had given little thought to suicide among attorneys. I do recall the suicide of Bill’s close friend, Marty Mitchell, which I believe was in the late 1980’s. Marty was a brilliant trial attorney and quite the personality, but I always related his death to his “party till you drop” life style. But on Tuesday I was at this KBA service realizing that at least 4 of these deaths within the past year were depression related. And those are just the ones I know about because of chance encounters.
As to the service, it was a beautiful, moving ceremony that was well worth attending. I would like to thank the Supreme Court Justices, the KBA, the KBA Board of Governors, the Owensboro clergy who participated and all others involved for putting this together. Special thanks goes to two longtime friends, Gary Sergent and Mickey McGuire, and a new found friend, Doug Farnsley, for their participation.
The next day I attended several sessions at the KBA conference. The one that I primarily stayed for was “The Anxious Lawyer.” The presenter was Jeena Cho, a bankruptcy attorney from San Francisco who has written a book with the same title. She shared with us her thoughts on practicing mindfulness and how we as attorneys should address the stress in our practices and lives before it leads to deeper depression. The session was well attended. Thanks to Yvette Hourigan of the KBA Lawyers Assistance Program for her efforts as well in bringing Ms. Cho and for other planned upcoming events.
I want to thank all of those who shared their time and thoughts with me and made me feel that I was not alone in this endeavor. You gave me hope that by sharing. You energized me by sharing. Together we can help those who feel that there is no hope and no future to learn and understand there is so much to live for here in the present.
The Trials of Luke 