I was raised in a good German Lutheran family where eating and drinking liberally were a way of life. Both of my parents worked in Cincinnati, so during the week my father would do most of the cooking because he got home first. Because of that we ate out a lot, particularly on Sundays. Most often we went to Pompilio’s for a dinner that always included antipasto, pasta and lots of bread. Our family was the first in the neighborhood to get pizza from Pasquale’s and we had it fairly regularly. Many of the other kids were in awe that I got to eat pizza, after all pizza in the late 50s in Covington was not that common. Having a Big Boy platter from Frisch’s on Friday was a frequent ritual.
Needless to say I was spoiled as a child especially when it came to food. My brother and sister were 16 and 12 years older so I was more like an only child or at least the baby. Thanksgiving was the prime example. I would not eat turkey, dressing, vegetables or even my grandma’s egg noodles. My brother Bill or my brother-in-law Curt would have the task of driving me to downtown Covington to get a bag of White Castle hamburgers, after all they were the only place open on Thanksgiving.
My parents were both beer drinkers. There were generally 3 quarts of Schoenling, Hudepohl or Burger in our refrigerator. That was the German lifestyle. Even at our church picnics there was plenty of beer drinking.
I myself began drinking beer pretty regularly when I was 14. It was not that difficult to buy in those days. On the last day of school in my freshman year, the annual school trip to Coney Island was cancelled due to the race riots in Cincinnati. 3 of my friends bought a case of beer in Peaselburg and carried it 12 blocks down Madison Avenue at 11:00 a.m. on that Friday to my house. (They covered it with a rug)
My brother Bill was much the same as me. He loved to eat, particularly prime rib. Our Christmas Eve gathering were always about eating until you pop. In the late 70s and early 80s Bill and I attended many Kenton County Bar Association functions together. And every time we felt it was our duty to lay waste to the giant mound of shrimp cocktail that our hosts at Ft. Mitchell Country Club, or wherever else, had laid before us.
Later in life I came to the conclusions that the old Bubenzer family coat of arms had the motto, “You are allowed to get wasted, but the food isn’t.” I am not sure what the German translation is.
Needless to say this was not a good thing. I gained a lot of weight in high school. Diabetes ran in my fathers’ family. When I was about 20 my father had to give up his beer and lose weight. My paternal grandparents both died before I was born. My maternal grandparents both died in their 60s.
My father died of a heart attack at age 76 and Bill had a quintuple bypass in his early 60s.
I passed that lust for food and drink on to my children.
So where am I going with this. Luke had a weight issue that he inherited from me but also was exposed to anorexia and bulimia at a young age.
Both Luke and I were “fat” in high school. I weighed over 170 when I was 15. Luke was even heavier. I began running track and trimmed down to 130. Luke found wrestling as his love and lead to a dramatic weight loss for him.
Luke rarely spoke with me about this affected him, but I am aware that in junior high and high school he faced a lot of teasing and condescending comments because of his weight. Fat shaming can be a form of abuse. We do not usually give it much thought but it is true and it is easy to make fun of fat people.
As a result it often leads to extreme dieting that can be dangerous. Extreme weight loss due to depression is far worse. Luke would manifest his depression through his extreme changes in eating habits. We disregard our health and our need to eat. I had an occasion in my life where I lost 20 pounds in a month because of depression.
Luke had 3 stages of physique for most of his life, fat Luke, skinny Luke and buff Luke. At the end of May 2016 Luke had lost over 50 pounds from the prior December and was living on Monster drinks and Pedialyte Popsicles. He became emaciated Luke. The comments from many years ago still affected how he thought of himself.
Not long ago I was in line at Subway when a rather large young lady ahead of me requested extra mayo on her sub. It was literally smothered in mayonnaise. In my head I was really questioning her choice and eating habits. Later I remembered that I was the kid who used to dip Grippo’s Barbeque potato chips in mayonnaise. Who am I to ridicule another person’s choices, even if just in my own head?
We think about trying to get our loved ones or friends to stop taking drugs or drinking through rehab or hospitalization, but how do you make someone eat. The symptoms are so obvious but we feel helpless in trying to get them back to what we think of as a normal diet.
Attorneys are constantly in the public eye. Our self-esteem is often related to our personal appearance. We should not be judging and we best be careful of the comments we make, because the impact may be great and very long term.
The Trials of Luke 