I went to a funeral this week. A funeral for the 19 year son of a friend. A funeral for another 19 year old male who reached a moment in his life when he decided that continuing to live was not his best option. I have known this young man’s parents for nearly 18 years. He is a man I have helped out on many occasions and he has done the same for me. I will not mention names, but some of you know who this young man is. I know his father tried hard to raise his children and I know he tried to do what was best for his oldest son.
I had opportunities to help this young man. And on several occasions he has been to my house, helping his dad clean my gutters and make other repairs around my house. I took the time to talk with him about problems he was dealing with. One of the first times was right after Luke’s death. Like Luke, this young man had developed an affection for Xanax bars. This young man had met Luke and when we talked after Luke’s death, I believe he was moved and responsive to what I told him. But no matter how well someone may seem to be doing, an event, a bad thought or a drug can set off a mood swing. Those thoughts of being hopeless or useless can spring up.
I was moved by the outpouring of love at the funeral, but I was most moved by the words and music of a young man who was one of his closest friends. He sang a rap song that he said they had actually written together about “being his ride,” in essence being there for each other. The audience loved it.
After his song he spoke and passed along some profound words of wisdom. “Sometimes your friends just want to hang out with you.” Those words stick in my head because I know that Luke reached out, despite his anger, there was a part of him seeking someone to “hang out with.” Just another reminder that even though your friends may act angry and try to push you away, inside they are reaching out and they need you to be there to support them.
I did not expect to be that guy who has to look his friends in the eye and hug them when they lose a child and tell them I understand their pain, but I guess that is what has been laid on me and I have a responsibility and even a need to be there for them.
The Trials of Luke 