I recently returned from a vacation and I felt that I had waited too long between posts and it was time to share my thoughts. But I cannot just “create” like I am writing fiction. Sometimes I need to be “struck” by some external event beyond my control. This past week several such events occurred.
The first dealt with someone very close to me who has for many years been battling depression and substance abuse issues. This week it lead them to the point of suicidal thoughts, if not actions. If you have a friend or family member with such issue, the first thing you need to know is that they will become very skilled liars. As Luke had done in the spring of 2016, this individual convinced me over the past few weeks that although there were parts of his life that were leaving them torn, that generally life was good and that they were on the right track to get their life turned around. The next thing I know they are strung out and heading back into rehab.
As always, I feel some guilt as if there was something I had done or not done along the way. But I now know better. We can try to help. We can advise. We can show our love and support. But in the end it is that person’s choice as to how they choose to live or whether they choose to live at all.
The second event involved a friend of mine. He was hospitalized and underwent heart surgery. He is an attorney who I have long admired and would consider one of the top 5 attorneys I have ever had the opportunity to know. I also have been lucky enough to learn a lot from him over the years, including when I tried a case against him. Though in his seventies he still works harder than most attorneys much younger than him.
His surgery brought back memories of my brother Bill’s quintuple bypass surgery and the impact it had on him. As I have mentioned previously, one of the side effects Bill had was memory loss which ultimately added to his depression.
All this raises the issue of how hard and how long do we push ourselves. What is it that motivates us and drives us every day to continue practicing? As I learned on vacation, as long as you are practicing at any level you really never can step away for long. Emergencies need responses. Fires need to be dealt with. Clients want answers.
Balance is hard to find in life and balancing the practice of law with our personal live is a challenge. I hope to get back into a more regular flow of sharing my thoughts in delving deeper into the answers to these questions.
The Trials of Luke 